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How to help a friend diagnosed with a mental illness

Updated: Aug 24, 2023

It's not easy to watch a friend suffer. If your friend has been diagnosed with a mental illness, like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), you may feel helpless and hopeless. But there are things you can do to support your friend and encourage them to seek treatment.


Here are some tips:


1. Learn about their specific condition, it's new to them too - so fully explaining it won't be easy.


The more you know about their mental health

, the better you will be able to understand your friend's experience. There are many myths and misconceptions about mental health conditions, so it's important to get accurate information from reliable sources.


2. Be respectful and non-judgmental.


Your friend is likely already feeling misunderstood and judged. Make it clear that you are there to support them, not to judge them.


3. Offer practical help.


You can offer to help with day-to-day tasks, such as grocery shopping or cooking. You can also offer to help with larger tasks, such as finding a therapist or making appointments.


4. Be a good listener.


Your friend may need to talk about their experiences, but they may also just need someone to listen. Active listening involves paying attention, not interrupting, and not offering advice unless asked.


How to help a friend with BPD


If you have a friend with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), you might be wondering how you can help. Here are a few things you can do:


Learn about BPD. It can be helpful to understand what your friend is dealing with. There are many resources available online and in libraries.


Listen to your friend. Let them know that you are there for them and that you care.


Validate your friend’s feelings. Just because someone has BPD does not mean that their feelings are invalid.


Be patient. It can be difficult to deal with someone with BPD, so it’s important to be patient.


Encourage your friend to get professional help. If your friend is willing to seek treatment, offer to help them find a therapist or support group.


Take care of yourself. It’s important to take care of yourself too. Dealing with a friend with BPD can be emotionally draining, so make sure to take time for yourself.


Understand their condition


It can be very difficult to deal with a friend who has a borderline personality disorder (BPD). This is because people with BPD are often impulsive, and may behave in ways that are harmful to themselves or to those around them. They may also have intense mood swings, and in rare circumstances under extreme stress, their emotions can overpower them and they can become unpredictable. Often feeling not in control of their own body.


If you have a friend with BPD, it is important to try to understand their condition. This will help you to be more patient with them, and to support them in their recovery.


People with BPD often have a very high level of emotional sensitivity. This means that they may overreact to things that seem small or insignificant to most others. They may also have a very low tolerance for feeling alone, misunderstood, rejected, or abandoned.


People with BPD may also have difficulty regulating their emotions. This can lead to them feeling overwhelmed by their emotions, and may cause them to act impulsively. For example, they may shout or become aggressive when they are feeling angry, or may self-harm when they are feeling sad or anxious.


It is important to remember that people with BPD are not dangerous and that they are not deliberately trying to hurt those around them. However, their impulsivity can sometimes lead to them doing things that are harmful, either to themselves or to others.


If you are concerned about your friend’s behavior, it is important to talk to them about it. Try to be patient and understanding, and avoid judging them. It is also important to encourage them to seek professional help if they are not already doing so.



Be there for them


If you have a friend with borderline personality disorder (BPD), it’s important to be there for them. BPD can be a very difficult condition to live with, and your friend may often feel isolated and alone. Here are some ways you can be there for your friend:


1. Be a good listener. Your friend may need to talk about their feelings, and it’s important to listen without judgment.


2. Offer support and understanding. When your friend is going through a tough time, let them know that you’re there for them.


3. Encourage healthy coping mechanisms. Help your friend find healthy ways to deal with their emotions, such as exercising, journaling, or talking to a therapist.


4. Avoid triggers. If you know what triggers your friend’s BPD, try to avoid them. For example, if your friend gets triggered by loud noises, try to avoid places that are likely to be loud.


5. Be patient. BPD can be a very difficult condition to live with, and your friend may not always be able to control their emotions. It’s important to be patient and understand that they are doing the best they can.


Encourage healthy coping mechanisms


One of the best things you can do to support a friend with BPD is to encourage them to find and use healthy coping mechanisms. This can be difficult, as people with BPD often turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms as a means of numbing their emotions. However, it is important to try to encourage your friend to find healthier ways of dealing with their emotions.


Some healthy coping mechanisms that your friend could use include: exercise, journaling, meditation, and spending time in nature. These activities can help to increase feelings of calm and wellness. It is also important to encourage your friend to see a mental healthcare professional, as they can provide additional support and guidance.


It is important to be patient with your friend, as they may not be ready to make changes to their coping mechanisms overnight. It can be a hard and gradual process, but supporting them through it can make a world of difference.


Promote positive self-talk


Assuming that your friend with BPD is currently in a negative headspace, promoting positive self-talk can be a difficult task. However, it is possible to encourage your friend to engage in positive self-talk through various means. 


One way to encourage positive self-talk is to provide positive reinforcement. This can be done through words of encouragement, physical touch, or even simply by spending time with your friend. Anything that makes your friend feel good on a regular basis can be considered positive reinforcement. 


Another way to encourage positive self-talk is to help your friend identify and challenge their negative thought patterns. This can be done by listening to your friend's negative self-talk and gently challenging the thoughts. For example, if your friend says "I'm not good enough," you could reply with "That's not true, you are good enough." By doing this, you can help your friend to start thinking more positively about themselves. 


It is also important to encourage your friend to be mindful of their thoughts and feelings. This means that they should pay attention to their thoughts and feelings in the present moment, without judgment. This can be a difficult task, but it is important in promoting positive self-talk. 


 Lastly, it is important to encourage your friend to take care of themselves, both physically and emotionally. This means eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly. It also means taking time for themselves, doing things that they enjoy, and spending time with people who make them feel good. By taking care of themselves, your friend can help to reduce the amount of negative self-talk that they engage in. 


All of these things can help to promote positive self-talk in your friend with BPD. It is important to remember that it will take time and effort, but it is possible to make a difference.


Help them develop a support system


It can be difficult and Fruitful to help a friend with BPD develop a support system. There are many reasons why someone might develop BPD, and each person is different. It’s important to remember that each individual’s experience is valid and that they are capable of making positive changes in their lives.


One way to help a friend with BPD develop a support system is to be supporting yourself. This includes listening to them, being patient, and refraining from judgment. It’s also important to offer practical help when possible and let them know that you are there for them.


It can also be helpful to encourage your friend to seek professional help. This could involve talking to their doctor, therapist, or counselor. There are also many support groups available for people with BPD. These can provide a safe space to share experiences and learn from others who understand what they’re going through.


In summary, it’s important to be supportive and offer practical help when possible. You can also encourage your friend to seek professional help and connect with a support group. By doing these things, you can help your friend develop a strong support system.


Show them you care

When you care about someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD), it is natural to want to do everything you can to help them. While it is impossible to fix their problems for them, there are things you can do to support them and let them know you care.


Here are some ideas:


1. Listen to them


The most important thing you can do is to simply listen to your friend. Let them know that you are there for them and that you hear what they are saying. Showing them that you care about what they are going through can make a big difference.


2. Encourage them to get professional help


If your friend is not already in therapy or taking medication, encourage them to seek out professional help. This is one of the most important things they can do to improve their condition.


3. Help them structure their time


People with BPD often have difficulty with impulsivity and may engage in harmful behaviors such as self-harm or substance abuse. Helping your friend structure their time and activities can help them avoid these behaviors.


4. Be patient


Recovery from BPD is a long and difficult process. It is important to be patient with your friend and to let them know that you will be there for them no matter how long it takes.


5. Educate yourself about BPD


The more you understand about BPD, the better equipped you will be to support your friend. There are many excellent books and articles available on the subject.


6. Avoid taking things personally


It is important to remember that your friend's behavior is not personal. When they are angry or upset, it is not about you. Try to avoid taking things personally and getting defensive.


The most important thing you can do is to simply show your friend that you are there for them and reassure them regularly that you care and are not abandoning or rejecting them - even if you do not totally understand why - they often can't explain the feeling either. Sometimes, just being there for them is the best thing you can do.


If you have a friend with borderline personality disorder, the best thing you can do is be supportive and understanding. Encourage your friend to seek professional help, and offer to go with them to appointments if they need a ride or someone to talk to. If your friend is in a crisis, be there for them and try to help them get the resources they need to get through it.


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